WHO ARE YOU? WHO? WHO? WHO!? WHO!?!?

FELLOW TRUTHSTRONAUTS I HAVE INTERCEPTED AN ALIEN MESSAGE OF SOME SORT AND I CAN’T FOR THE LIFE OF ME DECIPHER IT. THEY MUST HAVE ANTICIPATED MY INVOLVEMENT AND PRE-CODED THE MESSAGE WITH A RICHARD-BLOCKING MIND INK. BASTARDS!

THE CLOSEST I’VE GOTTEN IS THIS ARCHAIC DOCUMENT BUT I DON’T HAVE A PDF READER INSTALLED ON THIS SOUPED UP TYPEWRITER I USE TO HOST THIS BLOG.

MAYBE YOU ALL CAN DO BETTER THAN I WAS ABLE TO.